I’ve been noticing that a lot of personal thoughts and anxieties have been leaking into Pinkerton more and more. It’s not a conscious effort on my part. Take today’s comic strip for example:
Now, Tucker’s situation is a little over exaggerated. I’m not divorced and so far I can still fit in my pants after dinner. But the fact still remains that I feel a little anxious at the on-coming new year. And while unlike Tucker, my life could get a lot worse, I don’t think I could stand it if it did. From a personal standpoint, 2008 was the year that kicked me in the nuts. Oh sure, the cartoonist’s life seems extravagant: The huge parties, the fast women, the charging rhinoceroses… I’ve drawn them all. But the truth is, 2008 sucked.
On the inside I still feel that cold desire to lock myself in a closet and wait the next 12 months out. It’s totally do-able. I’ve already thought it out. I’d stock my make-shift “life shelter” with ramen noodles, caffeinated beverages, beer, and a cable connection. It would be my version of the Ward Cleaver 50’s-era fallout shelter. Heck, I may even throw in a few polyester pants, a case of SPAM, and a Doo-Wop album or two just for shits and giggles.
And as soothing as the idea of hiding from the outside world may seem, I know it’s foolish. My children for one, when left to their own devices, would regress into howling, sugar-fueled animals. My house would become a suburban Lord Of The Flies sanctuary where brushing teeth and showering would be crimes punishable by death.
The one thing I’ve tried not to do is look back on things with regret. I’ve always been a “live and learn” sort of fellow, taking stock in my stumbles and hopefully navigating my way out of rough waters before they envelope me. But wouldn’t it be great if you could get your hands on a time machine? Yes, the nerd is well aware of the whole time paradox issues (Time Cop was on G4 this weekend and I paid close attention). But God damn, wouldn’t it be great to be able to zap yourself back to those stupid times in your life?
You know what I’m talking about. You’re 10 years old and you’re just about ready to see what happens when you stick your finger in an electric outlet when the 38 year old version of yourself appears in a flash of lightning and smoke (ala Terminator: that movie was on too…) and hopefully fully clothed. You’re just about to speak to the old guy standing in front of you when he reaches out and smacks you in the back of the head with a rolled up newspaper and yells “NO!”
That’s some Sci-Fi tough love right there, folks. Now I wish someone would hurry up with the time machine.
So with that, I skeptically move forward into 2009. I’m not diving into this one. The water is freezing and I think some kids peed in it. I’ll be the guy at the shallow end doing that “cold cold cold colllllld” dance. Once the water gets about nipple high I’ll find enough courage to submerge like a great white submarine. For now, I’ll just splash around.
God, Wit. Ouch.
Don’t start the year that way. You have to do something special, no matter how small it is, to set the tone for the year. Read a poem at midnight, tell a joke, draw a cartoon showing you achieving your biggest goal for the year.
Don’t enter the new year with trepidation. Enter it with enthusiasm. Inject energy into your year at the earliest possible opportunity.
I’ve thought about that whole TimeCop thing, or going back and being able to relive life with the knowledge you have now. How far do you go back? If you go back before your kids were born, they might not be born, or their conception is timed differently and they’re different kids.
Look at your best Pinkerton strip. Would that ever have been produced if you went back and stopped yourself from exploring that outlet?
The choices you made led you to where you are, and despite some small setbacks, you’ve got a family, a home, and a fanbase. Could you be sure that the rolled up newspaper of experience would give you something worth risking all that?
Count your blessings. Seriously, count ‘em. You may find you’re better off than you think.
LOL. I do count my blessings. And I exaggerate (slightly) for entertainment purposes. But believe me, I don’t lump Pinkerton in with my new year trepidations. That’s the stable footing in my otherwise bouncy-castle-like life.
But the good news is that I’ve decided to post more blogs. Make sure you RSS Feeders out there tag this site for updates. I promise they’ll be more upbeat. Okay… half promise.
honestly,the one thing that keeps me going…
my family.
(and yes wit,your part of my family whither you like it or not.)
2009 may scare the crap of you but before you know it,you’ll be looking back on it and typing a blog about how 2010 scares the crap outa you.
honestly,i’m just thankful to wake up everyday (with new bone creaking and groaning sounds.) and have the chance to do wonderful things with my family when i can.
To paraphrase Oddball from Kelly’s Heroes:
“Stop giving out with all those negative waves. . . ”
Life is all about desire and suffering and what not.
“tomorrow we will run faster, stretch our arms out father… so we beat on, boats against the current, born back ceaselessly into the past.”
Just keep up the wacky nutty goodness of Pinkerton until you puke. We’ll write nice words for your obit, then go find another cartoonist to poke our sticks at.
[ Jeeeez, the things I've got to say to keep this guy producing ]
[ Where's the Cuervo? ]
Tyler: honestly,the one thing that keeps me going…
my family.
(and yes wit,your part of my family whither you like it or not.)
Does that mean me too, Brother Tyler? If so, I want a pony.